Check it Out

Radiohead's Nude as performed by crappy old machinery.


Big Ideas (don't get any) from James Houston on Vimeo.

I wish I had this kind of time on my hands. Nothing I have accomplished has ever came close.

Sadly,
Barry

Independence Day

Happy Fourth of July ereone.

Hoped you like the fireworks.

I sure did.

Peace, love, + soul,
Barry

P.S. 'Willows on Fire' would be a sweet band name.

Life's a Beach

Live from the Eastern seaboard:

Hey people. So I'm here at the Outer Banks in North Carolina, about 50 yards away from the Atlantic Ocean.

Thought I would say I'm thinking of you, but I'm not really. JK, you guys are never far from my mind.

It's been pretty nice here. I'm a water sign, so I'm always at home around bodies of water. But I've got really awful sunburn already, so everything is in perspective.

My internary so far has been pretty basic: boogie boarding, swimming, shelling (don't laugh), a little crabbing, ice cream, etc. etc. Perhaps it'll get more intense. We'll see.

Keep it real, land-lubbers,
-Barry

Barry on the Way

I'm on my way to North Carolina. Oh yeah.

We're going to Washington, D.C. first. Never been there. Should be fun. Should be fun.

First real break of the summer. Good thing I didn't kill myself.

Love,
Barry

Ann Arbor Adventures!!!!

This past week has been decently exciting. Classic summer 2008.

Monday I went, alongside my main man Drew, to the home of University of Michigan, scenic Ann Arbor, Michigan. We had food, fun, and the occasional fire.

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasures.

On Campus:

Master of mastadons:

Hookah:

Francy-prancy breakdancers:

We went to a fancy Greek restaurant and got the flaming cheese. I never bought anything on fire before. It was awesome.

Life goes on.
-B

Powerless

There were some giant storms in the Northwest Ohio/Southeast Michigan region last night. In the midst of one, I decided to go over to my main man Drew's residence, witnessing lightening, fallen tree crap, and lots of dust.

There there was a metaphorical "storm" in the sense of crazy partying with drunk hill-billies. My friend's stepdad and me finally made nice after I accidently ate his lunch one night. It was pretty cathardic.

I came home this morning to find the power had left my house. We have a well, so our water goes off when the electricity goes off.

Basically, this meant I had to go to work tired, hungover, and unshowered. I was not in the mood for people's crap. But today was pretty easy. Lucky me.

I work so frickin' much. I am so frickin' tired. It kinda sucks, but I have over $1000 in my bank roll, which is more than I have ever had in there before. That rocks.

I rock.

--Barry

Year of the Potato

This seemed important to pass off to you guys.


How to Celebrate the International Year of the Potato
"As wheat and rice prices surge, the humble potato is being rediscovered as a nutritious crop that could cheaply feed an increasingly hungry world."

The United Nations declared that 2008 is the International Year of the Potato. The celebration of the International Year of the Potato (IYP) is intended to raise awareness of the importance of the potato, as well as agriculture in general, in addressing issues of global concern, including hunger, poverty and threats to the environment. This article provides some ways for you to join in the celebration of the humble spud.

Steps
Learn about the reasons why the potato is an important food crop. The humble potato is being rediscovered as a potentially very useful food crop that can be easily grown in many parts of the world as a source of nutritious food. The benefits of potatoes include:

Global nature - they have been transported all around the world and are grown almost everywhere

Ability to feed the hungry - the potato is able to produce more nutritious food per area of land and in harsher environments than any other major food crop, providing "up to 85 percent of the plant is edible human food, compared to around 50% in cereals".[2]

Nutritious - potatoes are good for you. They are rich in carbohydrates which provide long-term energy and they have the highest protein content for the root and tuber family, "with an amino-acid pattern that is well matched to human requirements".[3]

Increasing future demand - there is an increasing trend in eating potatoes around the world, indicating that potatoes will become more and more important as a substantial food crop.

Learn about the different varieties of potatoes. There are many varieties of potatoes and different potatoes are suitable for different uses. There are potatoes suitable for baking, roasting, boiling, mashing, steaming and frying. Ask at your local potato distributor for information on the best types of potato for your cooking needs.

Learn about the nutrition benefits of the potato. Potatoes have received a lot of bad press from those insisting that potatoes make dieters fat but this bad rap is undeserved. Potatoes are low in fat; it is what you put on a potato can make it fattening but by itself, potatoes are not a fattening food and can easily satisfy hunger cravings quickly in small portion. Potatoes contain many micronutrients, including vitamin C, iron, B1. B3, B6 and minerals such as potassium, phosphorus and magnesium, and contains folate, pantothenic acid and riboflavin. In addition, potatoes contain valuable dietary fibre and antioxidants to help prevent age-related diseases.[4]

Note the effects of cooking styles on potato nutrition. The method that you use for cooking potatoes impacts on the nutrition level of the potato.

Boiling causes a big loss of vitamin C, especially for peeled potatoes

Frying potatoes and making French fries/chips reduces the mineral and ascorbic acid content and causes the potato to absorb a lot of fat

Baking causes a higher loss of vitamin C than boiling but retains other vitamins and minerals.[5]

Make some potato recipes at home. Get cooking! Almost everyone loves the potato in some form or other and you can put your culinary skills to use cooking potatoes at home. Look for potato recipes on wikiHow and share some of your favourite potato recipes here and with family and friends.

Grow your own potatoes. Potatoes are really easy to grow and children can also join in the fun of planting them and watching them grow. For more details on growing potatoes for yourself, see our article Plant Potatoes.

Tips
The Bangladesh army is including a 125g potato per member of the army regardless of rank to supplement a decreasing rice diet.[6]

Warnings
The starch in raw potatoes cannot be digested by the human digestive system, so avoid eating potatoes raw.

Avoid potatoes with green skins. The green indicates the presence of glycoalkaloids, which are toxic. These areas are not destroyed by cooking, so cut away green areas prior to cooking or discard entirely green potatoes.


I never realized potatoes could hurt you. Besides launched from a spud gun.

--B Man

Happy Memorial Day!

So in keeping with the holiday, I will tell you one memory which really freaked me the f**k out.

Yesterday, I picked up my first hitchhiker. I was done with work, and this old guy I worked with asked if I could give him a ride to the cash-place to see if he could cash his check. He said he would buy me dinner if he got his check cashed. I reluctantly said okay, considering the free food. So we start driving around the ghetto going to a few of these places. Needless to say, I was getting a little fed up and just wanted to go home.

So we finally stop in this one place, he goes in, and then I'm approached by this young African-American man and he asks how far of a walk it is to UT. I'm like, a little ways, and he says he'll give me $10 if I drive him up the street.

I think for a moment. $10. Possibly getting my car jacked.

$10.

So I let him in, and the guy comes back out and says they wouldn't cash it, and asked if he could borrow $10. Whatever. He's supposed to get me back Wednesday. He then sees the guy, and kinda freaks out. We go. It turns out that he doesn't have $10 in cash, but on a card, so we need to stop at a gas station. I end up driving pretty far out of the way for this (mind you, both me and the old guy had our eyes glued to this guy in case he pulls a piece) and when we get there, his card doesn't even work. GD it.

Oh, but hey! His friend lives just up the road and probably has some cash on him. So he gets back in the car and I take him to this house. Now this is getting more and more shady by the second, and the old guy I'm with is freakin out. So I drop him out by this house, and watch him knock on the door to no avail.

Realizing I would never see the money and that this sketch-trip was fruitless, I drove away before he realized we were gone.

Then I drove this old guy home, and the whole time he was saying how sorry he was that he got me in too that, blah, blah, blah....and I'm just thinking, "Wait, explain to me how you are any different?"

Next time I'll tell him that I have to get to another job right away. Enough adventure for one day.

Wait, that's not what the holiday's about? Well screw you.

Happy Holidays,
Barry

Lost in the Supermarket/Exhaustion

So I've been working a lot. Quite a lot.

I'm working 37.5 hours a week petitioning people for signitures. Went to Napolean, Ohio the last two days. Met some interesting folks--lots of old peeps.

I found out there is a Florida, Ohio. I thought that was wishful thinking.

Also I've been working a few hours at the Tuxedo shop. Gettin' some of dat cash flow.

And lastly, I'm working re-stocking (basically moving around crap) the cracker/cookie aisle at a few Meijers in Michigan. Very important. I'm pretty educated in cookies now--you could hit me up some time and we could have a discussion.

Basically, I'm really tired. I work every day until at least two Monday's from now.

Life goes on, but I'll go to bed.

--Barry

Finally....Barry Meets the Mayor

Yes, it has finally occured. Carty Finkbeiner, the mayor of my grand hometown of Toledo, and myself, had a little chat today.

I am that important.

I was doing my job, petitionings mofo's as they pass, as per usual. I work for this group trying to get Paid Sick Days for everyone who works in Ohio. Pretty cool. And I get well paid. And a bunch of crack-heads ask if they can have my job everyday. It is that good.

Well, anywho, I was downtown at the Government Center, getting people to sign. A sympathetic security guard (go figure) tipped us off that we could nab more people in the back. So we moved. It was pretty nice because there was only one entrance and everyone was forced to go by us. Haha. Easy prey. And then he walked by.

I was about to ask him for a signature, but then I realized who it was. The mayor. I sort of stood flabergasted and then he asked me what I was petitioning for. I told him as he was walking away.

Pretty impressive, I know, but that's not all. He came back, and started talking to me again. I was spittin' out facts and figures like you would not believe. He said he hadn't come down on one side or the other, but he definitely wanted me to send him some literature. And I was all, "Yes, sir, Mr. Mayor." Basically, I am his personal ambassador for this cause. Basically.

So, yeah. Barry gots connections. Don't mess with him.

Peace out now, y'all,

Barry

Lots of IHOP Coffee

I just spent three hours in an IHOP and prolly drank about 8-11 cups of coffee. I'm sorta wired........and I gotta wake up at 9:15 tomorrow morning. Uh-oh.

My day off was alright. Rode my sister's bike to the library, which was a mistake. That seat has to be the most uncomfortable thing I have ever placed between my legs.

In other news, I have achieved "pro" status in Wii Tennis. My little sister still beats me. Don't worry, I'm working on it.

Since this is kind of a boring "what Barry did today" post, I'll just fill y'all in. I called up my main man Drew and we chilled at the neighborhood Kroger for awhile. He's become one of those born-again vegetarians, and he was buying all that kind of new-age crap. Then we went to our other old haunt, Timbo's. It's an ice cream place--I believe they are trying to crack into the Chili Mac market, though. I'll tell you how that goes.

Not wanting to go back to his house, and feeling horny for adventure, we did what the cool kids do and ended up at Barnes & Noble. I had 8.99 left on a gift card from Christmas, and I bought Sun Tzu's "THE ART OF WAR" and a book on making ice cream sundaes. An interesting combination.

Also, there was a woman in there training a seeing-eye dog. When would a blind person ever go into a book store? A question I may never know the answer to.

Finally, we ended up at the IHOP at 11. We left at 1. In between I had some of their very admirable Stuffed French Toast and a lotta lotta coffee. Like three pots between the two of us. We talked about the usual stuff--recession, hangovers, the African-American experience, music pirating, etc. etc. I really wanted to steal a coffee mug that said "IHOP," but Drew pussyed out on me. Next time. Next time.

My mom's gonna get pissed if I keep poundin' on the broken SPACE bar, so I better shut up.

Hella awake,
--Barry

P.S. Credit card debt--it'll getcha!

Await No Longer, Friends

First, apologies.

I have a duty to you, my loyal readers/spambots, and I have failed you. And for that I am sorry. I will serve penance by reciting 20 Hail Marys WHILE COMPETING IN A HOT DOG EATING CONTEST AND PUTTING THE WHOLE THING ON YOUTUBE!!

Not really, but I thought it would get your attention so you would read the rest of the post.

There has been a lot going on in my life since my last post.

Guys and Dolls.

End of my Sophomore year.

Going home.

Going to Columbus to landscape.

Getting a new job.

That's what I'm doing right now. I got a job petitioning people in the Northwest Ohio area for getting a bill concerning Paid Sick Days on the ballet in November. I am forced to talk to a bunch of people, which is probably the most fascinating aspect of the job (Besides the great pay and the awesome hours). But I get to hear what a whole lot of random people from all races, classes, and homelessnesses have to say about their beliefs concerning politics, business ethics, and the economy. It's pretty fascinating.

Some woman called me a "Socialist Scumbag" yesterday. Probably the highpoint of my week so far.

Also, every one of my colleagues is less than 6 years older than me. And all of them have children already (well, one chick with the name "Trey" tattoed across her knuckles is only WITH child, but I figured that counts). It makes for a barrel of laughs.

So far the job is like a walking tour of downtown Toledo. It's kinda cool getting to intimately know the major city where I grew up around.

I really like this job so far.

I'm tired of writing. I'll get more information to y'all's later concerning junk and stuff.

Perpetuating the lie,
Barry

P.S. Another guy said I was doing that.

First Day of Spring and this Happens...

First day of Spring today, and already a tragedy. It seems one can't even ride a boat without being attacked by huge flying venomous fish.
And they complain that too many species are becoming endangered because of overfishing and pollution. I say, not enough, sir.



Jumping eagle ray kills boater off Florida Keys
Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:00pm EDT

MIAMI (Reuters) - An eagle ray leaped onto a boat off the Florida Keys on Thursday and stabbed a woman with its barb, knocking her to the deck and killing her, a Florida wildlife investigator said.

"It's a bizarre accident," said Jorge Pino, an agent with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

The woman and her family were aboard a boat in the Atlantic Ocean, off the city of Marathon in the Florida Keys, he said.

"A large ray jumped out of the water and collided with the victim and somehow the barb penetrated some part of her body, which caused her to fall back and hit her head on some portion of the vessel," Pino said. "We don't know exactly which one of those things caused her death."

Local media said the animal's barb had impaled the woman through the neck.
Eagle rays are common in warm or tropical waters and are often seen near coral reefs. The spotted creatures can grow to more than 8 feet across and have two to six short, venomous barbs near the base of their whip-like tails, according to the Florida Museum of Natural History's Web site.

The rays often swim near the water's surface and can leap out, especially when pursued, but are generally shy of humans.

"All rays leap out of the water from time to time but certainly to see one collide with a vessel is extremely unusual," Pino said.

Extremely unusual, or the wave of the future?

Here's a picture of the SOB. You decide:

Notice the woman's visor. Would not want to get by one of those...

Reminding you to watch out for the rays this Spring,

--Barry

Skyscrapers Scraping

Today is a wonderfully warm day here in Rogers Park.





Also, it was a pretty decent day for me, a student attending the "Yale of Rogers Park," aka Loyola University Chicago.





But that's besides the point. Did you hear they finally released pictures of New York Governer Mike Spritz's prostitute friend?





I love the photos chosen for this AP story. Please notice the contrast:

Dang, she's fine. Him, not so much.

Apparently, this Ashley Alexanda Deprey has a well-maintained MySpace page, but I was unable to find it. He also has three teenage daughters. Ha.

I wonder if she used MySpace to find clients. And I wonder if she was free-lance or worked for somebody...but I bet she's pretty expensive either way.

Hmmm.....I wonder if I could become a MySpace Pimp.

There is money to be made. Any honeys looking to make a little scrilla? Send me a headshot, and then maybe we'll talk.

I love spring,

--Barry

The Epic Voyage to Sonic

Last night, friends, was an epic night.

It all revolves around my first ever visit to Sonic, aka "America's Drive-In." You see, here in Toledo they constantly show the commericials for Sonic, but there is none to be found around here. The closest one is in miniscule Van Wert, Ohio, approximately 2 hours away from my house.

And, boy, the stuff they show in these commercials is tantalizing. Shakes and ice cream and double cheeseburgers and slushies. Mmmm. Obviously, my friends and I do not want to be put out of "the loop," so we have made multiple vows to visit Sonic. However, none of those came to fruition. That is, until last night [triumphant music].

I was bumming around my house after dinner, texting multiple friends to see if anything sexy was going on. That's when I caught wind of the trip, and it seemed the just thing to do. So I ventured off in my humble Mercury Voyager to Bowling Green, Ohio, home of the BGSU Falcons and my old high school friends' apartment. There we made our plans.

We departed at about 9:20 PM, "we" including myself, my friend Erik, my friend Chris and his new beau Kelly. Mind you, the Sonic we were going to closed at midnight, so if we got lost and attacked by the Van Wert zombies, we could easily miss the time frame. Nevertheless, it was a risk we were willing to take to have our first taste of Sonic.

We made it to Van Wert after an hour and twenty minutes of reminiscing and poking each other (we went to an all guys school, so it's cool). Then we saw the Sonic's beacon of welcoming light and we zoomed over and pulled up right next to one of the talker-majigers. We ordered cheeseburgers all around, and some onion rings, fries, and tator tots, and root beers. Delicious.

We waited about ten minutes, getting more and more thirsty for beef. Finally, an overweight middle-aged woman comes to our window, saying she dropped our food and that she will make us some more. We said, "wha?" Then we looked behind us and saw the fiasco, a tray, bags of food, smashed soft drinks. I then felt the instant pangs of regret that I did not see the woman fall.

Alas.

I sat there studying the bags, noticing how the cheeseburgers were probably still edible. Then I proposed, kinda jokingly in case anybody thought I was weird: "You know, ha, I bet those burgers are still good, it's a shame that there just going to waste, hahaha." Luckily, I got the reaction I was fishing for: "Go get 'em!" So I scampered out of the car, making sure no employees saw our theft of garbage, grabbed the bag and dashed back to my seat. I was right, the cheeseburgers were delicious. We scarfed them down quickly, in case people saw us and were pissed (which was pretty unfounded, considering a guy came out soon after with a snow shovel and shoveled the remains into a garbage can).

A guy later came out with our new food, and said that the lady had hurt herself pretty bad but wanted to make it up to us by giving us free Sonic Blasts. Not being one to refuse Van Wert hospitality, I was like, "Wa-hoo! Free Ice Cream!"

We finished our Round 2 of food and headed for the drive-thru window. There we met the woman, who had obviously been crying. We ordered our blasts and acted really concerned, and, man, was she laying down the guilt. "Yeah, I hurt myself pretty bad. I never felt pain like that before. It was like a flashing light...I'll probably hafta go to the Emergency Room, but I want to give you guy some ice cream first." I was like, "c'mon, just get us the ice cream already, lady..." (not really, but I was thinking it). She went to make our blasts, and we were discussing and praising how great a trip that was, but at some point we decided that we shouldn't be laughing at her misfortune while waiting to get our free guilt-ice cream.

And that was it. We drove the hour and twenty minutes back to BG happy as clams, with bellies full of free road-burgers and ice cream, talking about the wonderfulness of the Saga of Sonic.

I'm not sure if I can ever go back, because my experience will never be as great.

I hope she didn't die.

Here's to you, head-trauma Sonic lady,
--Barry

Break is Sprung!

I am awful, I know. I haven't posted in over ten days. Whatevs.

But, in the good news, it is spring break! Wahoo! Spring Break 08! Lift your top!

Not cool.

Actually, I'm I just Megabused it back here last night. It was on one of them new-fangled double-decker Megabuses, and I got to sit on the top level. Frickin' sweet. Basically, if I had to make a dramatic exit, I could've just busted out the window and lept onto a passing semi. Unfortunately, the other passengers would probably then steal all my clothes. I did not trust them.

So now I'm home, and it's really cold here. My little sisters have been having snow days left and right, and the ground's pretty firmly covered. And I'm sitting home alone here, cold. My parents refuse to have the thermostat on during the day when no one's here, which makes good sense. But they also turn it off when I'm home, which means my fingers are about to fall off. I could go and turn it on myself, but I'm unsure of my abilities to work the thermostat, so I just shiver here until Mom comes home.

Spring break has been, and most likely will remain, pretty low key. We had Guys and Dolls rehearsals up until Tuesday, and then there was a healthy amount of drinking each night.

Tuesday night, my last night in town and a good friend's 21st birthday, I decided to stumble around the city alone at 3:30 AM. I discovered a place where I can get a real decent Gyro at 4 AM. That made me really happy. I was really intoxicated.

I have no plans for this week--probably eat at Wendy's and Taco Bell to get ma fix, maybe drink a little in BGSU, and catch up on a lot of required reading. Yikes.

Again, I apologize for my tardiness. I shall keep this place more updated in the future.

Peace on Earf,
--B@rrY

Lunar Eclipse of the Heart

Hey friends. I apologize for my lack of posting. From the bottom of my heart. Madly. Truely. Deeply.

Since then there has been a lunar eclipse, I have been in two weekend runs of Greek tragedy, and already a week of rehearsals for Guys and Dolls. Crazy times. I've been working on my Brooklyn accent. I think by now I can almost fit in with my family from Jersey comfortably. I'm pretty pumped for this Guys and Dolls, it should be good.

I've also been battleing a rough case of the flu, which prolly hasn't been helped by my staying up late, drinking, and speaking Brooklynese. I should prolly not speak and just chill.....not gonna happen.

So in dialects session one guy sounded like Rosie Perez. What's up with that?

Again, mad apologies,
Barry

Frozen Beer

So I'm walking around my local Rogers Park streets this morning, I noticed that there was a healthy amount of frozen beer littering the sidewalks.

That is how cold it is here.

Apocalyptically cold.

The past week has been pretty awesome. Burial at Thebes opened up Friday, and I've only been hearing rave things about it. It's a pretty intense show. Greek tragedy, whoa. I was looking through some photos, and I'm like, this looks wicked from the audience. If you get the chance, you mos def should check this shi-at out.

What's with this Lent thing? You know.

Ash Wednesday, good stuff. Got my ash on, you know. What did the Barry decide to give up for Lent? The kiddie porn? The crack cocaine? Fish sticks?

No, silly. I think I'm just trying to give up meat on Fridays, trying to go to mass every Sunday. Good Catholic boy stuff.

Dawn on Thebes,
--Barizzle

Superbowl Thoughts

What was yesterday?

The Superbowl. Yes, the great American holiday.

Who won? The Giants. But I think we all won a little. Except for Patriots fans, who were all like, "C'mon, this will be history!" But I was like, "I don't support any sort of dynasties. Didn't work for the Egyptians, I won't support it for New England." And look, I was correct.

I watched it with a bunch of theatre majors, so needless to say the actual game was not the big focus of attention. The halftime show was freaking amazing though. I love Tom Petty, I love fire, and I love funky lighting. This had all three, plus a few camera cutaways to chicks with large breasts. That's the ticket.

Commercials? There were a few good ones.

The Budweiser one where it makes the claim you breathe fire. And then the guy burns everything in his girlfriend's house. A chuckle and a half.

Diet Pepsi Max. This was hilarious. A parent nods off, and gets hit in the gut by his swinging kid. Niiice.

My favorite:


The Underarmour ad freaked me the eff out. It basically made the claim anyone who wheres Underarmour is part of some freaky cult, and anyone who doesn't wear it will get killed by Underarmour nazis. Creepy.

Those were some memorable ones before the alcohol started to befuddle thought.

Go Giants,
--Barry

Tales from the Junk E-Mail Bin

Occasionally I enjoy checking the junk e-mail folder of my Hotmail account (ahhh_my_hands_on_fire@hotmail.com if you are a hot chick and want to propose).

Today I found a message that seemed to answer every question I ever had.

Subject line:

Re: the problem of year 2008 has been solved!‏

Sender: Some dude named Jared

I opened the message to find that there was no actual message.

Way to go, Jared. You SPAM-tease.

F you,
--Barry

I Fought the Law....

Note to reader: If you are a loyal member of the RIAA, please skip to the next post.

Whew, close call, I know.

Now that the stuff-shirts are looking at the other meaningless stories of some random guy they don't know, I can get to the meaty parts.

Right before winter break, I start getting these e-mails alleging that I, yes, your's truly, illegally downloaded a mp3 of Miss Britney Spears' song, "Gimme More" (slang for Give Me More). Don't make fun, I was looking for the acapella for one of my excellent remixes. I'm serious. Dead. But apparently I downloaded some sorta baited file, and people notified and I was in hot water. Yikes.

So then last Friday my internet shut off, and then I remembered the whole ideal. So I call Judicial Affairs here at Loyola. I schedule a meeting for Wednesday, and my internet was shut off until then. No blogging.

Wednesday rolls around, and I meet with the guy. I'm so freakin charming. Using a lot of honesty and being just super charismatic like always, I was able to get the minimum fine of $25. Then I was like, soooo, is there anyway I could not pay and do like community service or some crap? So I have to complete 5 hours of community service by February 20th. Bfd.

The Score? Barry: 0. Law: 0. I think it counts as a tie.

Hopefully this is the end of the story. Apparently the RIAA has subpoened 5 Loyola students out of the 500 they have caught. And according to the guy, they can't really figure out the pattern; some people have thousands of songs and multiple offences, and some people have downloaded one and been caught once. And then they pay like $4000. That means there is a 1% chance of me being totally f'd. I think I might take jail time instead of paying.

Wait for me on the Outside!
--Barry

PS Happy Murphdai. Death to cock-blockers

Words of 2007

I haven't really done anything end-of-yearish, so here's something really nerdy.

Stole it from Dictionary.com. Yesh.


Words of the Year for 2007

Dictionary.com presents Words of the Year for 2007. For each month, we chose a word or phrase that was prominent or new according to our search logs and research regarding searches elsewhere on the Internet.

January: water intoxication
"Jennifer Strange had taken part in the 'Hold Your Wee for a Wii' game, which promised the winner a Nintendo Wii. Afterwards she reportedly said her head was hurting and went home, where she was later found dead. Initial tests have shown her death is consistent with water intoxication." — BBC News

February: coffee art
"Coffee art: Creative images are made in coffee." — CNN Video

March: bracketology
"Bracketology — the practice of parsing people, places, and things into discrete one-on-one matchups to determine which of the two is superior or preferable works because it is simple. It is a system that helps us make clearer and cleaner decisions about what is good, better, best in our world. What could be simpler than breaking down a choice into either/or, black or white, this one or that one?" — The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything by Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir, excerpt courtesy of Slate

April: nappy
"The controversy over using the book 'Nappy Hair' at a Brooklyn elementary school has had predictably distressing effects. Now a principal at an intermediate school in the same district has decided against using two excellent books in the sixth grade, apparently for fear of parental protests." — The New York Times

May: diatribe
"When Meyer launched into a diatribe, was dragged away by campus cops and subdued with a Taser gun, Jessup, 22, quickly sent the footage to CNN -- because, she says, she wanted national attention and does not like Fox News." — The Washington Post

June: virtual dissection
"Point-and-click versions of scalpels, scissors and even saws allow students to find, remove and examine organs without ever smelling formaldehyde. Hundreds of schools, which are already using software as an alternative to animal dissection will receive the fetal pig module later this month."Nearly a dozen states have laws or regulations requiring public schools to offer students such an option. Animal protection groups have lobbied against dissection and many students have decided that dissecting real animals is not for them." — The New York Times

July: dogfighting
"Michael Vick's lead lawyer left open the possibility of a plea agreement after the suspended NFL star was scheduled for an April 2 jury trial on state dogfighting charges. The Atlanta Falcons quarterback pleaded guilty to a federal dogfighting conspiracy charge in August and voluntarily reported to jail last week, even though he will not be formally sentenced until Dec. 10." — The Canadian Press

August: itch mite
"Health officials believe the Oakleaf Itch Mite may be responsible for a mysterious outbreak of itchy, red rashes in the Chicago area." — ABC News

September: teratoma
"M.R.I. scans revealed a teratoma in Megan's skull — a noncancerous mass of rapidly dividing cells, the result of natural developmental processes gone awry." — The New York Times

October: fire
"Fire crews watched for flare-ups Wednesday afternoon as high winds and low humidity levels increased the danger of a new blaze in fire-scarred Southern California." — The Mercury News

November: steroids
"A quarter of Blackwater security guards in Iraq use steroids and other 'judgment-altering substances,' according to a lawsuit filed by the families of several Iraqis killed or wounded in a Baghdad shooting in September." — CNN News

December: subprime mortgage
"Andy Weissman, publisher of the weekly Energy Business Watch, said the current focus in Congress on housing market woes and the subprime mortgage meltdown are understandable, but both parties need to refocus on energy policy." — Fox News

Educational and fun,
Barry

First Round of Classes: COMPLETE!

Yes, I am done with my first round of classes. Well, except for my Dramatic Lit class, which I slept through this morning. Apparently I never set an alarm, although I am almost positive I did. I'm starting to think it went off and I turned it off while I was still pretty asleep. It sucks when you can't trust yourself. I'm starting to think that sleep-Barry is my most formidable enemy. Not cool.

But, my other classes seem super cool. Arabic II should be fine, Theatre History actually looks kinda interesting, and Characterization II will help me a lot. My coolest classes so far, though, are my Philosophy and my Playwriting class. My philosophy class is study of beauty and love...our first required text is "Beauty and the Beast." Our professor has terminal skin cancer, and last spring his class helped him write a paper that was published in a bunch of humanities journals. I think this class will be great. I'm real excited. And playwriting will be awesome because it's playwriting.

And rehearsals go on. I'm so happy I gets a sword.

Alright, let's sheath the sword metaphors,
--Barricles (aka Barry)

And here it comes again...

School starts tomorrow.

This semester's gonna be a trip. I have to wake up before 10 EVERY SINGLE FRICKIN' DAY!! First time that has ever happened.

You see, I was supposed to take this Classical Modern Philosophy class, but somehow that was cancelled and nobody made any effort to contact me. Way to go guys, really. C'MON! So I was looking at what other phil courses fit (being a philosophy major and all) and I happened upon this Philosophy of Love and Beauty course, and that looked really interesting (perhaps there'll be porn?). Unfortunately, it starts at 10:25. Then I have Characterization II at 11:30. And then Arabic at 4:00. And then Dramatic Lit I at 10 the next morning. And then Theatre History II at 11:30. And then Playwriting at 4. And then it repeats, until I die (or the semester ends). Crazy times.

Not to mention rehearsals. Burial at Thebes (aka Antigone) is coming up, and I, as a non-speaking guard, will start rehearsals tomorrow. Most everyone else have had rehearsals since last week, and apparently they've been volunteering me for whenever they need a gaurd. Like at one point I'm supposed to incompetent (which will be a really hard thing for me to play) and Antigone jacks my sword.

I hope I get it back later.

School's in, sucka,
Barry

Break's Over, back to work

So, if you couldn't figure out from my witty title, my winter break is officially over.

I spent my last night bowling one of my best friends from middle school, his girlfriend, and two of her friends. They got trashed. And then I realized I was surrounded by rednecks. I guess you can take the boy from the country, but not the country from the boy.

And this boy is leaving super early tomorrow (alright, not super early, like 10, but that's pretty early when you've been sleeping until the early afternoon nearly every day).

Productive break? Sort of, not really. Got my hair all cut, worked like 20 hours total at the Tux Shop (eff), got some DVDs, started a bunch of books and finished "The Golden Compass," which I'm on the fence about. Not much other than that. Got drunk a few times, I guess.

I think this might be the last time I spend the whole break at home, we'll see.

Cardboard City! (some drunk guy was yelling this at the bowling alley),
--Barry

Live! From the Land of Confusion

First post of 2008.

Don't forget it.

This week has been a little lonely. Most of my friends have gone back to school, so I spend a lot of time with my family. Wow, what a bunch of nutjobs. Just kidding, I love my family. I'm sure I'll have plenty of sparkeling therapy sessions concerning them, so I won't try to go into it here when I could be paying for it. Basically, I think everyone in my house thinks that they're surrounded by morons. Even the animals. Little do they know that I am the one surrounded by morons.

Work isn't an option either. My boss gave me eleven hours this week. And at minimum wage, that's about...70 bucks. Are you kidding me? Over my month long break, I worked a total of 19 hours. I used to think I could sort of rely on the Tux shop as a source of income for breaks from Chicago, but obvs I can't. And they took Guitar Hero away from the Wii stand, so I can't even take my hour long paid shred-sessions. All I can do there is sit around and wallow in my questionably-sauced fried chicken pieces from of the random places in the food court. And that can only bring you so much joy.

And if a customer comes, I'm like, wait a second, I'm getting paid minimum wage now. And I probably won't get this commision because I might not be working for a real long time. Then there's the fact that a lot of them are mentally incapacitated.

I've basically been doing a lot of reading and vegging in front of the TV watching DVDs and VH1 specials. I dislike America's Next Top Model.

And the witty remarks on "100 Best Songs of the 90's" get really old after the second viewing.

Chicago, I'll be back Saturday.

Barry. Out.