Happy Memorial Day!

So in keeping with the holiday, I will tell you one memory which really freaked me the f**k out.

Yesterday, I picked up my first hitchhiker. I was done with work, and this old guy I worked with asked if I could give him a ride to the cash-place to see if he could cash his check. He said he would buy me dinner if he got his check cashed. I reluctantly said okay, considering the free food. So we start driving around the ghetto going to a few of these places. Needless to say, I was getting a little fed up and just wanted to go home.

So we finally stop in this one place, he goes in, and then I'm approached by this young African-American man and he asks how far of a walk it is to UT. I'm like, a little ways, and he says he'll give me $10 if I drive him up the street.

I think for a moment. $10. Possibly getting my car jacked.

$10.

So I let him in, and the guy comes back out and says they wouldn't cash it, and asked if he could borrow $10. Whatever. He's supposed to get me back Wednesday. He then sees the guy, and kinda freaks out. We go. It turns out that he doesn't have $10 in cash, but on a card, so we need to stop at a gas station. I end up driving pretty far out of the way for this (mind you, both me and the old guy had our eyes glued to this guy in case he pulls a piece) and when we get there, his card doesn't even work. GD it.

Oh, but hey! His friend lives just up the road and probably has some cash on him. So he gets back in the car and I take him to this house. Now this is getting more and more shady by the second, and the old guy I'm with is freakin out. So I drop him out by this house, and watch him knock on the door to no avail.

Realizing I would never see the money and that this sketch-trip was fruitless, I drove away before he realized we were gone.

Then I drove this old guy home, and the whole time he was saying how sorry he was that he got me in too that, blah, blah, blah....and I'm just thinking, "Wait, explain to me how you are any different?"

Next time I'll tell him that I have to get to another job right away. Enough adventure for one day.

Wait, that's not what the holiday's about? Well screw you.

Happy Holidays,
Barry

Lost in the Supermarket/Exhaustion

So I've been working a lot. Quite a lot.

I'm working 37.5 hours a week petitioning people for signitures. Went to Napolean, Ohio the last two days. Met some interesting folks--lots of old peeps.

I found out there is a Florida, Ohio. I thought that was wishful thinking.

Also I've been working a few hours at the Tuxedo shop. Gettin' some of dat cash flow.

And lastly, I'm working re-stocking (basically moving around crap) the cracker/cookie aisle at a few Meijers in Michigan. Very important. I'm pretty educated in cookies now--you could hit me up some time and we could have a discussion.

Basically, I'm really tired. I work every day until at least two Monday's from now.

Life goes on, but I'll go to bed.

--Barry

Finally....Barry Meets the Mayor

Yes, it has finally occured. Carty Finkbeiner, the mayor of my grand hometown of Toledo, and myself, had a little chat today.

I am that important.

I was doing my job, petitionings mofo's as they pass, as per usual. I work for this group trying to get Paid Sick Days for everyone who works in Ohio. Pretty cool. And I get well paid. And a bunch of crack-heads ask if they can have my job everyday. It is that good.

Well, anywho, I was downtown at the Government Center, getting people to sign. A sympathetic security guard (go figure) tipped us off that we could nab more people in the back. So we moved. It was pretty nice because there was only one entrance and everyone was forced to go by us. Haha. Easy prey. And then he walked by.

I was about to ask him for a signature, but then I realized who it was. The mayor. I sort of stood flabergasted and then he asked me what I was petitioning for. I told him as he was walking away.

Pretty impressive, I know, but that's not all. He came back, and started talking to me again. I was spittin' out facts and figures like you would not believe. He said he hadn't come down on one side or the other, but he definitely wanted me to send him some literature. And I was all, "Yes, sir, Mr. Mayor." Basically, I am his personal ambassador for this cause. Basically.

So, yeah. Barry gots connections. Don't mess with him.

Peace out now, y'all,

Barry

Lots of IHOP Coffee

I just spent three hours in an IHOP and prolly drank about 8-11 cups of coffee. I'm sorta wired........and I gotta wake up at 9:15 tomorrow morning. Uh-oh.

My day off was alright. Rode my sister's bike to the library, which was a mistake. That seat has to be the most uncomfortable thing I have ever placed between my legs.

In other news, I have achieved "pro" status in Wii Tennis. My little sister still beats me. Don't worry, I'm working on it.

Since this is kind of a boring "what Barry did today" post, I'll just fill y'all in. I called up my main man Drew and we chilled at the neighborhood Kroger for awhile. He's become one of those born-again vegetarians, and he was buying all that kind of new-age crap. Then we went to our other old haunt, Timbo's. It's an ice cream place--I believe they are trying to crack into the Chili Mac market, though. I'll tell you how that goes.

Not wanting to go back to his house, and feeling horny for adventure, we did what the cool kids do and ended up at Barnes & Noble. I had 8.99 left on a gift card from Christmas, and I bought Sun Tzu's "THE ART OF WAR" and a book on making ice cream sundaes. An interesting combination.

Also, there was a woman in there training a seeing-eye dog. When would a blind person ever go into a book store? A question I may never know the answer to.

Finally, we ended up at the IHOP at 11. We left at 1. In between I had some of their very admirable Stuffed French Toast and a lotta lotta coffee. Like three pots between the two of us. We talked about the usual stuff--recession, hangovers, the African-American experience, music pirating, etc. etc. I really wanted to steal a coffee mug that said "IHOP," but Drew pussyed out on me. Next time. Next time.

My mom's gonna get pissed if I keep poundin' on the broken SPACE bar, so I better shut up.

Hella awake,
--Barry

P.S. Credit card debt--it'll getcha!

Await No Longer, Friends

First, apologies.

I have a duty to you, my loyal readers/spambots, and I have failed you. And for that I am sorry. I will serve penance by reciting 20 Hail Marys WHILE COMPETING IN A HOT DOG EATING CONTEST AND PUTTING THE WHOLE THING ON YOUTUBE!!

Not really, but I thought it would get your attention so you would read the rest of the post.

There has been a lot going on in my life since my last post.

Guys and Dolls.

End of my Sophomore year.

Going home.

Going to Columbus to landscape.

Getting a new job.

That's what I'm doing right now. I got a job petitioning people in the Northwest Ohio area for getting a bill concerning Paid Sick Days on the ballet in November. I am forced to talk to a bunch of people, which is probably the most fascinating aspect of the job (Besides the great pay and the awesome hours). But I get to hear what a whole lot of random people from all races, classes, and homelessnesses have to say about their beliefs concerning politics, business ethics, and the economy. It's pretty fascinating.

Some woman called me a "Socialist Scumbag" yesterday. Probably the highpoint of my week so far.

Also, every one of my colleagues is less than 6 years older than me. And all of them have children already (well, one chick with the name "Trey" tattoed across her knuckles is only WITH child, but I figured that counts). It makes for a barrel of laughs.

So far the job is like a walking tour of downtown Toledo. It's kinda cool getting to intimately know the major city where I grew up around.

I really like this job so far.

I'm tired of writing. I'll get more information to y'all's later concerning junk and stuff.

Perpetuating the lie,
Barry

P.S. Another guy said I was doing that.