Occasionally I enjoy checking the junk e-mail folder of my Hotmail account (ahhh_my_hands_on_fire@hotmail.com if you are a hot chick and want to propose).
Today I found a message that seemed to answer every question I ever had.
Subject line:
Re: the problem of year 2008 has been solved!
Sender: Some dude named Jared
I opened the message to find that there was no actual message.
Way to go, Jared. You SPAM-tease.
F you,
--Barry
Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
I Fought the Law....
Note to reader: If you are a loyal member of the RIAA, please skip to the next post.
Whew, close call, I know.
Now that the stuff-shirts are looking at the other meaningless stories of some random guy they don't know, I can get to the meaty parts.
Right before winter break, I start getting these e-mails alleging that I, yes, your's truly, illegally downloaded a mp3 of Miss Britney Spears' song, "Gimme More" (slang for Give Me More). Don't make fun, I was looking for the acapella for one of my excellent remixes. I'm serious. Dead. But apparently I downloaded some sorta baited file, and people notified and I was in hot water. Yikes.
So then last Friday my internet shut off, and then I remembered the whole ideal. So I call Judicial Affairs here at Loyola. I schedule a meeting for Wednesday, and my internet was shut off until then. No blogging.
Wednesday rolls around, and I meet with the guy. I'm so freakin charming. Using a lot of honesty and being just super charismatic like always, I was able to get the minimum fine of $25. Then I was like, soooo, is there anyway I could not pay and do like community service or some crap? So I have to complete 5 hours of community service by February 20th. Bfd.
The Score? Barry: 0. Law: 0. I think it counts as a tie.
Hopefully this is the end of the story. Apparently the RIAA has subpoened 5 Loyola students out of the 500 they have caught. And according to the guy, they can't really figure out the pattern; some people have thousands of songs and multiple offences, and some people have downloaded one and been caught once. And then they pay like $4000. That means there is a 1% chance of me being totally f'd. I think I might take jail time instead of paying.
Wait for me on the Outside!
--Barry
PS Happy Murphdai. Death to cock-blockers
Whew, close call, I know.
Now that the stuff-shirts are looking at the other meaningless stories of some random guy they don't know, I can get to the meaty parts.
Right before winter break, I start getting these e-mails alleging that I, yes, your's truly, illegally downloaded a mp3 of Miss Britney Spears' song, "Gimme More" (slang for Give Me More). Don't make fun, I was looking for the acapella for one of my excellent remixes. I'm serious. Dead. But apparently I downloaded some sorta baited file, and people notified and I was in hot water. Yikes.
So then last Friday my internet shut off, and then I remembered the whole ideal. So I call Judicial Affairs here at Loyola. I schedule a meeting for Wednesday, and my internet was shut off until then. No blogging.
Wednesday rolls around, and I meet with the guy. I'm so freakin charming. Using a lot of honesty and being just super charismatic like always, I was able to get the minimum fine of $25. Then I was like, soooo, is there anyway I could not pay and do like community service or some crap? So I have to complete 5 hours of community service by February 20th. Bfd.
The Score? Barry: 0. Law: 0. I think it counts as a tie.
Hopefully this is the end of the story. Apparently the RIAA has subpoened 5 Loyola students out of the 500 they have caught. And according to the guy, they can't really figure out the pattern; some people have thousands of songs and multiple offences, and some people have downloaded one and been caught once. And then they pay like $4000. That means there is a 1% chance of me being totally f'd. I think I might take jail time instead of paying.
Wait for me on the Outside!
--Barry
PS Happy Murphdai. Death to cock-blockers
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Words of 2007
I haven't really done anything end-of-yearish, so here's something really nerdy.
Stole it from Dictionary.com. Yesh.
Words of the Year for 2007
Dictionary.com presents Words of the Year for 2007. For each month, we chose a word or phrase that was prominent or new according to our search logs and research regarding searches elsewhere on the Internet.
January: water intoxication
"Jennifer Strange had taken part in the 'Hold Your Wee for a Wii' game, which promised the winner a Nintendo Wii. Afterwards she reportedly said her head was hurting and went home, where she was later found dead. Initial tests have shown her death is consistent with water intoxication." — BBC News
February: coffee art
"Coffee art: Creative images are made in coffee." — CNN Video
March: bracketology
"Bracketology — the practice of parsing people, places, and things into discrete one-on-one matchups to determine which of the two is superior or preferable works because it is simple. It is a system that helps us make clearer and cleaner decisions about what is good, better, best in our world. What could be simpler than breaking down a choice into either/or, black or white, this one or that one?" — The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything by Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir, excerpt courtesy of Slate
April: nappy
"The controversy over using the book 'Nappy Hair' at a Brooklyn elementary school has had predictably distressing effects. Now a principal at an intermediate school in the same district has decided against using two excellent books in the sixth grade, apparently for fear of parental protests." — The New York Times
May: diatribe
"When Meyer launched into a diatribe, was dragged away by campus cops and subdued with a Taser gun, Jessup, 22, quickly sent the footage to CNN -- because, she says, she wanted national attention and does not like Fox News." — The Washington Post
June: virtual dissection
"Point-and-click versions of scalpels, scissors and even saws allow students to find, remove and examine organs without ever smelling formaldehyde. Hundreds of schools, which are already using software as an alternative to animal dissection will receive the fetal pig module later this month."Nearly a dozen states have laws or regulations requiring public schools to offer students such an option. Animal protection groups have lobbied against dissection and many students have decided that dissecting real animals is not for them." — The New York Times
July: dogfighting
"Michael Vick's lead lawyer left open the possibility of a plea agreement after the suspended NFL star was scheduled for an April 2 jury trial on state dogfighting charges. The Atlanta Falcons quarterback pleaded guilty to a federal dogfighting conspiracy charge in August and voluntarily reported to jail last week, even though he will not be formally sentenced until Dec. 10." — The Canadian Press
August: itch mite
"Health officials believe the Oakleaf Itch Mite may be responsible for a mysterious outbreak of itchy, red rashes in the Chicago area." — ABC News
September: teratoma
"M.R.I. scans revealed a teratoma in Megan's skull — a noncancerous mass of rapidly dividing cells, the result of natural developmental processes gone awry." — The New York Times
October: fire
"Fire crews watched for flare-ups Wednesday afternoon as high winds and low humidity levels increased the danger of a new blaze in fire-scarred Southern California." — The Mercury News
November: steroids
"A quarter of Blackwater security guards in Iraq use steroids and other 'judgment-altering substances,' according to a lawsuit filed by the families of several Iraqis killed or wounded in a Baghdad shooting in September." — CNN News
December: subprime mortgage
"Andy Weissman, publisher of the weekly Energy Business Watch, said the current focus in Congress on housing market woes and the subprime mortgage meltdown are understandable, but both parties need to refocus on energy policy." — Fox News
Educational and fun,
Barry
Stole it from Dictionary.com. Yesh.
Words of the Year for 2007
Dictionary.com presents Words of the Year for 2007. For each month, we chose a word or phrase that was prominent or new according to our search logs and research regarding searches elsewhere on the Internet.
January: water intoxication
"Jennifer Strange had taken part in the 'Hold Your Wee for a Wii' game, which promised the winner a Nintendo Wii. Afterwards she reportedly said her head was hurting and went home, where she was later found dead. Initial tests have shown her death is consistent with water intoxication." — BBC News
February: coffee art
"Coffee art: Creative images are made in coffee." — CNN Video
March: bracketology
"Bracketology — the practice of parsing people, places, and things into discrete one-on-one matchups to determine which of the two is superior or preferable works because it is simple. It is a system that helps us make clearer and cleaner decisions about what is good, better, best in our world. What could be simpler than breaking down a choice into either/or, black or white, this one or that one?" — The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything by Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir, excerpt courtesy of Slate
April: nappy
"The controversy over using the book 'Nappy Hair' at a Brooklyn elementary school has had predictably distressing effects. Now a principal at an intermediate school in the same district has decided against using two excellent books in the sixth grade, apparently for fear of parental protests." — The New York Times
May: diatribe
"When Meyer launched into a diatribe, was dragged away by campus cops and subdued with a Taser gun, Jessup, 22, quickly sent the footage to CNN -- because, she says, she wanted national attention and does not like Fox News." — The Washington Post
June: virtual dissection
"Point-and-click versions of scalpels, scissors and even saws allow students to find, remove and examine organs without ever smelling formaldehyde. Hundreds of schools, which are already using software as an alternative to animal dissection will receive the fetal pig module later this month."Nearly a dozen states have laws or regulations requiring public schools to offer students such an option. Animal protection groups have lobbied against dissection and many students have decided that dissecting real animals is not for them." — The New York Times
July: dogfighting
"Michael Vick's lead lawyer left open the possibility of a plea agreement after the suspended NFL star was scheduled for an April 2 jury trial on state dogfighting charges. The Atlanta Falcons quarterback pleaded guilty to a federal dogfighting conspiracy charge in August and voluntarily reported to jail last week, even though he will not be formally sentenced until Dec. 10." — The Canadian Press
August: itch mite
"Health officials believe the Oakleaf Itch Mite may be responsible for a mysterious outbreak of itchy, red rashes in the Chicago area." — ABC News
September: teratoma
"M.R.I. scans revealed a teratoma in Megan's skull — a noncancerous mass of rapidly dividing cells, the result of natural developmental processes gone awry." — The New York Times
October: fire
"Fire crews watched for flare-ups Wednesday afternoon as high winds and low humidity levels increased the danger of a new blaze in fire-scarred Southern California." — The Mercury News
November: steroids
"A quarter of Blackwater security guards in Iraq use steroids and other 'judgment-altering substances,' according to a lawsuit filed by the families of several Iraqis killed or wounded in a Baghdad shooting in September." — CNN News
December: subprime mortgage
"Andy Weissman, publisher of the weekly Energy Business Watch, said the current focus in Congress on housing market woes and the subprime mortgage meltdown are understandable, but both parties need to refocus on energy policy." — Fox News
Educational and fun,
Barry
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
First Round of Classes: COMPLETE!
Yes, I am done with my first round of classes. Well, except for my Dramatic Lit class, which I slept through this morning. Apparently I never set an alarm, although I am almost positive I did. I'm starting to think it went off and I turned it off while I was still pretty asleep. It sucks when you can't trust yourself. I'm starting to think that sleep-Barry is my most formidable enemy. Not cool.
But, my other classes seem super cool. Arabic II should be fine, Theatre History actually looks kinda interesting, and Characterization II will help me a lot. My coolest classes so far, though, are my Philosophy and my Playwriting class. My philosophy class is study of beauty and love...our first required text is "Beauty and the Beast." Our professor has terminal skin cancer, and last spring his class helped him write a paper that was published in a bunch of humanities journals. I think this class will be great. I'm real excited. And playwriting will be awesome because it's playwriting.
And rehearsals go on. I'm so happy I gets a sword.
Alright, let's sheath the sword metaphors,
--Barricles (aka Barry)
But, my other classes seem super cool. Arabic II should be fine, Theatre History actually looks kinda interesting, and Characterization II will help me a lot. My coolest classes so far, though, are my Philosophy and my Playwriting class. My philosophy class is study of beauty and love...our first required text is "Beauty and the Beast." Our professor has terminal skin cancer, and last spring his class helped him write a paper that was published in a bunch of humanities journals. I think this class will be great. I'm real excited. And playwriting will be awesome because it's playwriting.
And rehearsals go on. I'm so happy I gets a sword.
Alright, let's sheath the sword metaphors,
--Barricles (aka Barry)
Monday, January 14, 2008
And here it comes again...
School starts tomorrow.
This semester's gonna be a trip. I have to wake up before 10 EVERY SINGLE FRICKIN' DAY!! First time that has ever happened.
You see, I was supposed to take this Classical Modern Philosophy class, but somehow that was cancelled and nobody made any effort to contact me. Way to go guys, really. C'MON! So I was looking at what other phil courses fit (being a philosophy major and all) and I happened upon this Philosophy of Love and Beauty course, and that looked really interesting (perhaps there'll be porn?). Unfortunately, it starts at 10:25. Then I have Characterization II at 11:30. And then Arabic at 4:00. And then Dramatic Lit I at 10 the next morning. And then Theatre History II at 11:30. And then Playwriting at 4. And then it repeats, until I die (or the semester ends). Crazy times.
Not to mention rehearsals. Burial at Thebes (aka Antigone) is coming up, and I, as a non-speaking guard, will start rehearsals tomorrow. Most everyone else have had rehearsals since last week, and apparently they've been volunteering me for whenever they need a gaurd. Like at one point I'm supposed to incompetent (which will be a really hard thing for me to play) and Antigone jacks my sword.
I hope I get it back later.
School's in, sucka,
Barry
This semester's gonna be a trip. I have to wake up before 10 EVERY SINGLE FRICKIN' DAY!! First time that has ever happened.
You see, I was supposed to take this Classical Modern Philosophy class, but somehow that was cancelled and nobody made any effort to contact me. Way to go guys, really. C'MON! So I was looking at what other phil courses fit (being a philosophy major and all) and I happened upon this Philosophy of Love and Beauty course, and that looked really interesting (perhaps there'll be porn?). Unfortunately, it starts at 10:25. Then I have Characterization II at 11:30. And then Arabic at 4:00. And then Dramatic Lit I at 10 the next morning. And then Theatre History II at 11:30. And then Playwriting at 4. And then it repeats, until I die (or the semester ends). Crazy times.
Not to mention rehearsals. Burial at Thebes (aka Antigone) is coming up, and I, as a non-speaking guard, will start rehearsals tomorrow. Most everyone else have had rehearsals since last week, and apparently they've been volunteering me for whenever they need a gaurd. Like at one point I'm supposed to incompetent (which will be a really hard thing for me to play) and Antigone jacks my sword.
I hope I get it back later.
School's in, sucka,
Barry
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Break's Over, back to work
So, if you couldn't figure out from my witty title, my winter break is officially over.
I spent my last night bowling one of my best friends from middle school, his girlfriend, and two of her friends. They got trashed. And then I realized I was surrounded by rednecks. I guess you can take the boy from the country, but not the country from the boy.
And this boy is leaving super early tomorrow (alright, not super early, like 10, but that's pretty early when you've been sleeping until the early afternoon nearly every day).
Productive break? Sort of, not really. Got my hair all cut, worked like 20 hours total at the Tux Shop (eff), got some DVDs, started a bunch of books and finished "The Golden Compass," which I'm on the fence about. Not much other than that. Got drunk a few times, I guess.
I think this might be the last time I spend the whole break at home, we'll see.
Cardboard City! (some drunk guy was yelling this at the bowling alley),
--Barry
I spent my last night bowling one of my best friends from middle school, his girlfriend, and two of her friends. They got trashed. And then I realized I was surrounded by rednecks. I guess you can take the boy from the country, but not the country from the boy.
And this boy is leaving super early tomorrow (alright, not super early, like 10, but that's pretty early when you've been sleeping until the early afternoon nearly every day).
Productive break? Sort of, not really. Got my hair all cut, worked like 20 hours total at the Tux Shop (eff), got some DVDs, started a bunch of books and finished "The Golden Compass," which I'm on the fence about. Not much other than that. Got drunk a few times, I guess.
I think this might be the last time I spend the whole break at home, we'll see.
Cardboard City! (some drunk guy was yelling this at the bowling alley),
--Barry
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Live! From the Land of Confusion
First post of 2008.
Don't forget it.
This week has been a little lonely. Most of my friends have gone back to school, so I spend a lot of time with my family. Wow, what a bunch of nutjobs. Just kidding, I love my family. I'm sure I'll have plenty of sparkeling therapy sessions concerning them, so I won't try to go into it here when I could be paying for it. Basically, I think everyone in my house thinks that they're surrounded by morons. Even the animals. Little do they know that I am the one surrounded by morons.
Work isn't an option either. My boss gave me eleven hours this week. And at minimum wage, that's about...70 bucks. Are you kidding me? Over my month long break, I worked a total of 19 hours. I used to think I could sort of rely on the Tux shop as a source of income for breaks from Chicago, but obvs I can't. And they took Guitar Hero away from the Wii stand, so I can't even take my hour long paid shred-sessions. All I can do there is sit around and wallow in my questionably-sauced fried chicken pieces from of the random places in the food court. And that can only bring you so much joy.
And if a customer comes, I'm like, wait a second, I'm getting paid minimum wage now. And I probably won't get this commision because I might not be working for a real long time. Then there's the fact that a lot of them are mentally incapacitated.
I've basically been doing a lot of reading and vegging in front of the TV watching DVDs and VH1 specials. I dislike America's Next Top Model.
And the witty remarks on "100 Best Songs of the 90's" get really old after the second viewing.
Chicago, I'll be back Saturday.
Barry. Out.
Don't forget it.
This week has been a little lonely. Most of my friends have gone back to school, so I spend a lot of time with my family. Wow, what a bunch of nutjobs. Just kidding, I love my family. I'm sure I'll have plenty of sparkeling therapy sessions concerning them, so I won't try to go into it here when I could be paying for it. Basically, I think everyone in my house thinks that they're surrounded by morons. Even the animals. Little do they know that I am the one surrounded by morons.
Work isn't an option either. My boss gave me eleven hours this week. And at minimum wage, that's about...70 bucks. Are you kidding me? Over my month long break, I worked a total of 19 hours. I used to think I could sort of rely on the Tux shop as a source of income for breaks from Chicago, but obvs I can't. And they took Guitar Hero away from the Wii stand, so I can't even take my hour long paid shred-sessions. All I can do there is sit around and wallow in my questionably-sauced fried chicken pieces from of the random places in the food court. And that can only bring you so much joy.
And if a customer comes, I'm like, wait a second, I'm getting paid minimum wage now. And I probably won't get this commision because I might not be working for a real long time. Then there's the fact that a lot of them are mentally incapacitated.
I've basically been doing a lot of reading and vegging in front of the TV watching DVDs and VH1 specials. I dislike America's Next Top Model.
And the witty remarks on "100 Best Songs of the 90's" get really old after the second viewing.
Chicago, I'll be back Saturday.
Barry. Out.
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